I’m an artist. Aren’t I supposed to have a HUGE ego? A bottomless thirst for attention? The need to put my work up on walls and shout “Look at me! Look at me!”? I had a nun tell me that once…when I was little and showed her some drawing of a face I did. Little kids are always drawing faces, no? I seem to remember her saying that it looked like me and that it was vain to draw yourself and a sin. I remember thinking “This looks like me? It’s just a face.” and then going back to my desk and saying the rosary 3000 times for penance.
I’m still doing penance, I think, caught up in the dilemma of simply wanting to paint and HAVING to paint to keep a roof over my head. I get embarrassed by the attention it brings though. I don’t trust people who gush over my paintings but I get sad when my work seems invisible to others. I don’t think anything I have to say about my work is particularly interesting or matters to the general scheme of things. BUT…. if I want to keep buying paint and brushes and stay in my studio, I need to yell out to the world from my little mountain on a little island in the middle of a very big ocean HERE I AM!!!! Buy my art!!!! Please?